Yahoo unveils plan to make users hate it October 18, 2013 at 8:10 am
Typically accurate Daily Mash story. The new Yahoo mail interface really sucks.
Category / Fun
Typically accurate Daily Mash story. The new Yahoo mail interface really sucks.
I am acquainted with some scholarly political theorists, so I pride myself that this blog has an extremely high standard of discussion of these issues. In this spirit, then, I offer you:
BTW, I am lead to believe that US Treasuries do not have cross default clauses. That fact may, just possibly, be material in due course…
gathered in all their wonky majesty from Robin Harding writing in the FT about Jackson Hole.
When Alice looked up, the White Rabbit had returned.
‘This is a very strange regulation’, said Alice.
‘Not at all,’ replied the Rabbit, ‘it is necessary for financial stability. Too many CCPs are considering interoperation. Why only the other day the Ruritanian equity derivatives CCP proposed an interoperation agreement with the Atlantis credit derivatives CCP, the better to support capital structure arbitrage hedge funds. If we let this kind of thing happen, who knows what kind of economic efficiency might result. CCPs are such a good idea we need to impose a CCP for CCPs.’
‘So a CCPCCP…’ mused Alice.
‘…is a CCP that only clears intra-CCP transactions, yes, do keep up’, said the White Rabbit. ‘Their use will be mandatory in Wonderland from 2014. CCPs will have to post margin to their CCPCCP, and in return the CCPCCP will guarantee intra-CCP trades. It’s a huge boon you know.’
‘To who?’ asked Alice.
‘Why to the financial system, of course,’ replied the White Rabbit. ‘Taking trillions of dollars of derivatives out of well-capitalised banks and putting them into CCPs was so successful that we had to repeat the idea. So we’re taking most of the exposure out of CCPs and putting it into CCPCCPs with wafer-thin amounts of capital. What could possibly go wrong?’
‘Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things went on just as usual. I wonder if the financial system has been changed in the night?’ said Alice.
‘I don’t know what you mean I’m sure’ said the White Rabbit snatching up his regulation and walking off.
Suddenly, as if from far away, she heard a new voice.
‘Wake up, Alice dear!’ said her boss; ‘Why, what a long sleep you’ve had!’
‘Oh, I’ve had such a curious dream!’ said Alice, and she told her boss, as well as she could remember them, all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and when she had finished, her boss had a strange gleam in his eye, and said, ‘It WAS a curious and suggestive dream, Alice, certainly: but now run in to your meeting; it’s getting late.’ So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a peculiar dream it had been.
DEM is now on summer break: we will return at some point later in August.
In a city park, perhaps in Brussels, perhaps in Washington, perhaps elsewhere, it is hot. A regulator named Alice lounges on a park bench on her day off. She feels the heat of the sun, and, exhausted by her labours, she falls asleep…
… when suddenly a White Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her. There was nothing so very remarkable in that; nor did the regulator think it so very much out of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself, ‘Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be implementing late!’ (when she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite natural); but when the Rabbit actually took a draft regulation out of its waistcoat-pocket, and looked at it, and then hurried on, the regulator started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either a waistcoat-pocket, or a draft regulation to take out of it, and burning with curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large office door under the hedge.
In another moment down went Alice after it, never once considering how in the world she was to get out again.
When Alice got inside, it was all dark overhead; before her was a long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as it turned a corner, ‘Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it’s getting!’
When she came near the Rabbit, she began, in a low, timid voice, ‘If you please, sir—’ The Rabbit started violently, dropped the regulation, and skurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go.
Alice picked up the document. “The Regulation on Central Counterparty Central Counterparties” it was titled. “At the September 2009 summit in Pittsburgh, G20 leaders agreed that all standardised OTC derivative contracts should be cleared through a central counterparty (CCP) by the end of 2012. However, there are now a multiplicity of CCPs, and information concerning them is usually only available to the contracting parties. CCP interoperations threaten to increase counterparty credit risk, interconnection and market fragmentation. Just as CCPs are the solution to these problems in the bilateral OTC derivatives market, so central counterparty central counterparties (CCPCCPs) are the solution to CCP interoperation. This regulation sets standards for CCPCCPs. Moreover, as incentives to promote the use of CCPCCPs have not proven to be sufficient to ensure that intra-CCP exposures are in fact cleared centrally, mandatory CCPCCP clearing requirements for those CCP exposures that can be cleared centrally are therefore necessary.”
Curiouser and curiouser thought Alice.
To be continued…
It’s a holiday here in the UK so I feel the need to give you something a little lighter than usual. And what could be lighter than giraffes leaping into the air and executing perfect dives?
A DAMNING report into former bank bosses has raised the question of whether anyone should be allowed to work in finance.
As the banking standards commission suggested three former HBOS directors should be banned from the industry, experts said the men had been greedy and very bad at their jobs, just like absolutely everyone else who does this kind of thing.
Julian Cook, chief economist at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: “Acres of empty office space. You may as well graze sheep at the foot of the Shard.
I think this is a very bad idea. The Shard is tall, and it will block the sheeps’ light, leading to depressed baa-lambs. Grazing sheep at the top of the Shard is a much better idea.
Here are the answers for the regulation round.
Simon H did the best job on this round, but many other people did well too.
The answers are:
The picture round was pretty easy, mostly.
Shot 1 was indeed sunrise over Logan airport, outside Boston.
Shot 2 was the BIS, HypoVereinsbank (now part of Unicredit), and Goldman. Unicredit continues to have a rather low price/book ratio (around 0.35 when I was writing the quiz); Goldman’s ability to keep the lights on during Sandy when others could not generated some comment.
The plaque in shot 3 is at the FDR memorial in Washington DC. The connection with Sandy Weill is Glass Steagall: FDR enacted it, while Sandy recently opined that it would have been better if it had not been repealed (by the Gramm Leach Bliley Act Weill campaigned so hard for).
I am trying to finish something, so things will be a little quiet here for a while. I’ll also be travelling, too, so let me leave you with sunrise over the Eastern seaboard* and a few other things besides. The DEM seasonal quiz consists of three rounds.
1. Which airport is this?
2. Name the banks**.
For extra credit, why is the price/book ratio of the middle one unusual, and what was the controversy concerning the scene depicted in the last picture?
3. Where is this?
For extra credit, what’s the connection with the recent conversion of Sandy Weill?
Quotation round. Identify the sources of the following quotes:
Answers in the comments please. There may be a prize if (a) I can think of something suitable; and (b) the replies are impressive or amusing enough. Google if you want to, but it’s probably more fun to try guessing first.
* You are right, I didn’t say which country this airport is on the Eastern seaboard of. And was the American plane included to further confuse?
**Picture credit for the one on the right, Julia C Reinhart.
From Umesh Vazirani’s Quantum Mechanics and Quantum Computation on Coursea:
Some friends visited yesterday and we tried the Emirates airline for the first time. Interesting views.
One interesting thing about suddenly having hundreds of thousands of tourists passing over them is that it has clearly made some businesses clean up their yards. Look how neat this is:
The news that Lance Armstrong’s lawyer is calling for lie detector tests in his dispute with USADA makes me wonder if the Texan has found a new pill to beat the test. Or maybe has has just taken so much stuff that his perception of reality is permanently warped. As the Mash so perceptively observes
As the US Anti-Doping Agency presented definitive evidence of Armstrong’s drug use, the legendary cyclist insisted all the words in the report were ‘dancing like little funky pixies’… A spokesman for the USADA said that Armstrong’s response was predictable, but conceded: “He is phenomenal at taking drugs.”
Now this may of course not be entirely accurate reporting, but you have to wonder what impact years of world class drug taking might have on a man…
Inspired by Jonathan Weil on the breakup (or not) of Bank of America, and with apologies to Ronnie Wood:
In the morning
Don’t say you sex me up
Cause I’ll only kick you out of the door
I know your name is Tom
Cause your losses smelling sweeter
Since when I saw you down on the floor [of the NYSE]
Won’t need to much pursuading
I don’t mean to sound degrading
But with a tax loss like that
You got nothing to laugh about
Red P/L and risk limits
I hear you’re a mean old trader
Lets go up stairs and mark to market
Stay with me
Stay with me
For this financial year you’d better stay with me
From, of course, the Daily Mash:
A government spokesman said: “It’s time for everyone to go home. Seriously, before we get the army out.
“Admittedly when you tell a nation of mostly-unemployed drunkards it’s going to be ‘the best party ever’ you might expect it to get a little rowdy. But I’ve just seen Rolf Harris being cooked on a spit by a group of children in Kate Middleton masks.”
With all the recent gloom on the UK’s economic prospects if the Eurozone goes into meltdown, it is a relief to read a balanced, nuanced analysis. From the Daily Mash:
Britain will be a prehistoric barter economy within two years, the Bank of England has predicted.
The bank’s latest projections show that negative growth and the collapse of the eurozone will create an economic system based on flint axes, chickens and shiny stones.
Is this really much less plausible than some of the Bank’s predictions? Therefore, in the spirit of providing a helpful tail risk hedge, let me present a possible new location for the Bank if things do get really bad. It needs a bit of work, true, what with the missing roof and all, but you could store quite a few shiny stones there.